I bet you’re wondering about who I am and how I got to blogging about Christian Apologetics and Theology. My past is somewhat of a roller coaster journey. A lot of pain, endurance, and triumph is to be found. So, buckle up and enjoy the ride.
I was born in 1997 and after a legal battle, my grandparents won custody of me. I lived life in a relatively blessed lifestyle and I am very grateful for it. I grew up in church and was brought up in a Christian home. The rest is the average life. However, as I got to middle school, a lot of things started changing. I began asking questions instead of just taking all that I was given.
So, around the 7th grade, I started rejecting this idea of Jesus and God being real posing questions such as, “Why would a good God allow so much evil exist?” Of course, I didn’t get any memorable answers from my peers or even church. So, I thought maybe this was a problem with all of Christianity. Turns out, it’s not. But I’ll get back to that later. I didn’t come back to Jesus until the 9th grade but not due to a very scientific understanding of God. During my time as an agnostic, I started dealing with depression and was extremely suicidal, even though I had a relatively easy life. I was so distraught and depressed I seriously considered suicide.
I remember the day I got saved very clearly. It was November 11th, 2011 and my youth group that my parents had me attending had a retreat to Lake Okeechobee. On the first night, they had a service at 11 P.M., I was exhausted but decided to go. During the worship, I stood in the back – arms crossed and thinking to myself, “Stupid Christians, worshipping their imaginations.” As I stood back there I heard a voice, clear as day, saying, “Raise your hands, son.” As I heard this I looked around and, to my amazement, no one was standing near enough to me for me to hear those words so clearly. I shrugged it off, “Maybe I’m hearing things.” Again the clear voice said, “Just raise your hands!” I did because, in my mind, I had nothing else to lose as I was going to kill myself when I got home anyway. So, as I lifted my hands, I felt all my pain and torment being pulled right off of me and I felt this loving embrace fall upon me. I was… happy. For the first time in a long time, I was happy. I then knew that God was real. It didn’t matter to me what I thought science said, I just knew what I felt was more real than anything a scientist ever told me.
I then went to a Christian summer camp for a week and during that, I had a vision. As I laid back onto my bed (it was “nap time”), I put my headphones in ear, blasted some Hillsong UNITED, and said, “God, whatever you want for me, show me. I will follow.” As I shut my eyes, I was instantly taken to a stage in the desert with millions of people there and I was on my knees worshiping with the crowd. Except, I was on the stage with a mic in hand. At that moment I knew I was called to be a pastor. I figured out what I wanted to be and how to be it. I decided to go to Southeastern University in Lakeland, FL to get a degree in ministry. Before I got there, I met my beautiful girlfriend Candice. As of the time of publishing this, we have been dating for a little over two years. She is the love of my life, the one who is able to calm me even when my thoughts are swirling around. She loves God and people and I’m so blessed to even be able to be hers. Now, back to the story.
I got to Southeastern University (SEU) and I loved it here. In my sophomore year here, I ended up taking a class called Theology of God and Humanity which is the first theology class every ministry major at SEU must take.
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Matthew 20:28 NLT
My professor, Dr. Davis, has taught me a lot in his theology class and he made a good point, “If you don’t care enough to study to be able to answer people’s questions when they need answers most. You don’t deserve to be a pastor.” I thus decided to study even harder, and to ponder a little longer, to answer the tough questions. That’s how I got here – to this blog. I decided to put my thoughts regarding the apologetics of Christianity out there for people to read and stumble upon. I want to be vulnerable and transparent so everyone can understand the work of God through a sinner such as I. I, like Christ, come not to be served, but to serve. So here I am, an average apologetic – the average apologetic. I’m no one special. I am but a man who wants the world to understand why I, and many others, believe in God and Jesus.
I pray that God would show you the same love and grace he showed me as you go through your daily life. Amen.